Soon Enough

This morning I woke and opened my eyes thinking that, yeah, it is just yet another day but in fact it isn't. As I came back from my 'salad essentials' shopping, I found out that today is already the 30th and so tomorrow is gonna be NYE and soon enough B will be coming back. So yay! It clearly isn't just yet another day as every day that has passed by this week marks that I'm one day closer to seeing him. And so, yeah, I'm excited. I mean who wouldn't, right. 

Speaking of excitement and NYE, it just reminds me how pathetic it is not being able to celebrate NYE in a more glamorous manner. Was initially thinking of celebrating in Sydney, which I would been arriving there by now, but I cancelled last minute. I just realized that how broke I have become recently and I just could not afford to lavish myself in any luxurious manner. How sad that it? I know, right? 

However, that's all alright for me because something is telling me that I'm in actual fact more excited about the fact that I'm gonna be able to see B in a few days' time rather than getting all hyped up about the Sydney NYE event which would happen every year as well eventually. If not this year, then the countdown to 2011 then some time 365 days from now, right? No biggie.

LuvBoBo

28 29 30 31

Today's the 28th. It's about four more days to go to 2010! I should be excited because a few days after the new year has arrived, I would be able to welcome back B! It is not easy to spend every day missing about him. And I promise this time when I see him I'll gather up all the courage in me to tell him how I feel about him. At least I want him to know that I have deep and great feelings for him.

I'm really gonna prepare myself for this. No joke this time.

LuvBoBo

Another Day

Today is the feeling of Celine Dion's song "A New Day Has Come". That's exactly what I'm feeling at the moment. It's like today is just another day but every day is a new day. And we're on our very way to countdowning and welcoming year 2010. After all it is already the 27th of December and it is just a couple more days before the new year arrives which also reminds me that it is just a couple of days more to seeing him. I just can't wait for that to happen. In short, he has taken me away.

Summer school is about to start too. I wonder what's the feeling of that. Certainly can't be slacking anymore as it is an intensive and driving course due to its very nature.

However, before I get to worry about the Summer School, I am more worried about the fact that how I am gonna spend this NYE. It's not like there's nothing going to welcome the new year but there's really nothing at the moment inside wallets and bank accounts. Empty. How am I supposed to be spending a nice and unforgettable NYE and welcome the new year if the pocket's empty. I have absolutely no idea and that's why I have started to worry. I don't wanna coup up in the house with the TV entertaining me. I need more. I need fun. I need distractions. To get the 'missing B' feelings out of my way. I know it's not wrong to miss somebody that badly. It just proves that how much I have fallen for him. But I'm pretty sure he'd want me to enjoy my NYE as well.

LuvBoBo

It's Raining

It has been raining here for two days consecutively. I wish I could be telling him this, but he's like 9 hours plus flight away hopefully enjoying himself in Thailand. I guess I do miss him. But I totally have no means of contacting him at the moment. I suppose I will only be hearing from him in about a week's time. Gosh I think I really miss him so much.

I just can't wait to hear from him, listening to all his wonderful moments in Thailand. And I just can't wait to see him, to kiss him and more. Hope I can keep myself occupied enough this few days so that I won't feel like time is passing slow. Time passing fast means that I get to see B sooner and that I can get to move into the new apartment sooner. At the same time it also means that I would have to start school soon too. For B, I'm willing for it to be so.

LuvBoBo

I Think I Love Him

Today is Christmas Day 2009! It was a great day but I never thought I would feel so lonely as well. Lonely because I missed that special someone so much that I'm constantly thinking and restless. This just proves that how much I am really into him. I never thought of it would be this deep. Therefore, the relationship would better be lasting. If not, I'm sure that I'm gonna get hurt deep. 

I was thinking about the conversation that I had with one of my seniors last night. We somehow talked about sex should be done with the person you have feelings with and care for despite how sometimes we're horny and need a hook up. I sorta totally agree on it. Look at how much affection B and I have for each other now. I only hope so much that he cares that much for me as well and treasure our relationship the way I do. Because I think I love him. 

LuvBoBo

An Amazing Night

Last night was really an amazing night that I got to spend with the right person, whom I really wanted to spend time with. And yes, you have guessed correctly that the person is B. I know, right.

Sometimes it isn't about what a couple does, where they spend time at, how long was the date and so on. It's more like whom they spend the time with. I honestly didn't regret a single bit of giving my time and attention to my special one at the moment.

Every time we caught up, he made me feel special about myself, about our relationship. And that's what matters.

LuvBoBo

Life

Life.

What an interesting story it can paint.

I think all the ups and downs of life are the main factors that make life worth living but of course everyone would be wishing that they have more ups than downs. Who wouldn't, right? And as for me, I've recently been feeling a lot downs in my life but I'm not ashamed to admit it cause I know maybe that could just be how God is punishing me for all the bad things that I may have done in the past. 

This coming new year, I really hope that I can once again step out into the world out of my comfort nest. After 'hibernating' in this little nest of mine, I suppose it's time to be out there again. Well, I'll admit it. I'm a little bit afraid and nervous to be there again. That day, while I was walking back from groceries, I suddenly had a very weird feeling. That lonely feeling that I'm alone again, powerless and all. Well, I certainly hope that's not gonna be true because that would just be a disaster after building such strong empire back in those days and suddenly to have me collapse to ground zero would just be utterly unacceptable. 

These few days, I'm just at home being a carefree person enjoying my summer break to the max discounting those summer flings, of course, haha. And that's because, even though I'm still a college guy and it's supposed to be about fun, I consider the priority to the fact that my heart belongs to someone whom I really care about. And I really hope that we can last for as long as we can. Because no one has ever let me feel so deep and passionate about a relationship. For all those guys in the past, those are mere one-sided unreturned love but this time I do feel something very warm coming from his side even though he keeps on questioning himself that he might hurt me one day. Well, if he can hurt me, that only proves that how much he has let me fall for him all these while.

LuvBoBo

The Person In My Life

I know that this is kinda overly dramatic trying to say that now B is the man in my life. But as crazy and as dramatic as it sounds, he is at the moment. I always questioned and thought that I won't be a faithful person and would like to fool around and have fun considering my age and stuffs. But I am actually not. As surprising as it sounds, I am actually kinda faithful and respect my partner. Even though B might be the first official partner I have ever been into, he might already be the person whom I will take care of and like to be taken care of by. And although we're kinda not totally official yet, I am already devoting myself to him. WTH right. He always says that at my age I should be going out and have more fun and stuffs. And meet people. Yeah, that's what I'll do but everything with my clothes on from now on unless I got really wasted, the kind that would get me hungover the next day. And that's exactly what I have told him too. Both of us know that there's is a chance that he would leave Canberra for a his career. Honestly, I have no plans when that really happens. And yesterday he asked me what I would do if he got back with his ex, and I said I dunno because I don't really anticipate for that to happen. As naive as it may sound, but I know this is what relationship should be like, isn't it. The fact that you never know what's exactly gonna happen and the fact that when two people are together, they feel like the whole world has disappeared and the time has stopped and that at that moment of time, being together seems like a very important thing and being together seems like forever. That's exactly what I'm feeling at the moment. I guess this is what a relationship is all about.

LuvBoBo

Questions

I don't get it. Why am I questioning myself? Why am I not confident at all? I think I may have found the perfect for me, who cares for me, who is concerned about me and all. But why am I not giving myself in to him? Why am I still questioning? How come I am still not trusting him 100% when I should have quite some time ago? I really don't have the answer with me. Is it because there are too many opposing views out there telling me that this is not the right guy for me? Well, I don't really care at the moment. I don't mind he's 42. I don't mind that he has an ex-wife. I don't mind that he has an ex-bf whom he brings traveling with. I don't mind that he has kids. I don't mind him at all. But the thing that I don't really get is the fact that sometimes I'm doubting him. Sometimes I feel like he's cheating on me. But somehow I also feel like he's not at the same time. I feel that he really does care for me and that he'll be truthful and loyal to me. Is this what people say the true beauty of a relationship? That you can't know for sure what's gonna happen next and what it has for you the very next second or minute. I have absolutely no idea. But one thing for sure is that I know very well deep within me that I feel happy, full and satisfied whenever I'm with him. Is that enough to prove that he's the one for me?

LuvBoBo

Mistakes: A Way To Learn

Today I learned that mistakes is a very good way of learning. Well I suppose I should say I once again reminded today. I have already known for a long time that people learn throught making mistakes and of course that's the best way to learn something that you'll remember and know for a life time. But why am I so afraid to make some for myself?
I think I screwed up big time. I sorta think that although I have the faith that my results for this semester are gonna be alright but it definitely wouldn't be alright for the old me. It definitely is not good enough for the best in me. I admit the fact that I cared too much about perfection that I forgot how to make mistakes. I acknowledged the fact that I'm actually scared to make mistakes ever since I got perfection in my life.
Well, I should say 'So what?!'. I can't changed whatever that has happened. The only thing, the only rightful decision that I could make now is to learn from whatever that I have not made in the past semester. That's how I can be perfect. Going through the ups and downs of life and finishing the whole cycle. Just like a racer would not quit halfway but finish the race till the very end.
So I aim to improve and be better and not regret about the mistakes that I have made. I should think of ways to remind myself that these mistakes are the bits and pieces that I have not learned how to deal with yet and it is time to get these skiills into my personal almanac. I suppose what I should do as of now is to list down every single thing that I didn't do and every single thing that I did wrong last semester and make it an effort to improve on them.
LuvBoBo

A Realization

I suddenly reflected upon the way I did things this semester and started to do some self evaluations. And so I happen to find out that I am actually better off flying solo than being in a team. Not that I'm not a good team player but that I like working under my own stress, my own pace and of course my own flexibility. I actually realized this while trying to revise for my marketing paper. And therefore started reflecting on the different assessment pieces that we've got so far. Or maybe this could just simply indicate that I'm born to lead. I'm natural leader. Which basically explains why I can plan and think so much better when I'm all by myself rather generating ideas and working out ideas with other people. Then all I have to do would be to let people under me know what's the plan and ask them to carry out for me which certain due dates and certain quality to be expected. I guess all of these kinda make sense a little bit why I'm always so ambitious and so competitive with myself. Actually I don't really care who's the best and so on. What I really do care is the fact whether or not I have achieved my own set of targets and whether or not I've gotten what I wanted myself to get. Myself is the true enemy and the true competition. 

And also recently I started to find back the old me. I should say my old fighting spirit. The fighting spirit which carries lots of confidence, certainty and firmness with it. I'm kinda proud with that but at the same time I need to keep reminding myself that every passing day is an opportunity to shape and mould myself into a better person. Because I believe there's is a greater goal in achieving the meaning of life.

LuvBoBo

Lost

These few days have been really weird for me. I feel different to the person that I used to be. I feel strange with all the unfamiliar feelings that I felt. I don't feel as 'me' anymore if you know what I mean. The cockiness. The certainty. The confidence. The bitchiness. The feeling of I'm sure I'm right. Because lately I really don't think all these apply to me as frequent as they used to. So hopefully I'll gain myself back soon and bounce back to normal. That's what I felt for the Econ paper this morning. Like, I'm not sure anymore what I'm doing, either to myself or with myself. So I need to find and regain myself. The old me. For the betterment of the remaining papers that I would have to sit for and for the betterment of the interview that I would have to attend.

I need to feel right again. The feeling that I'm right because I'm KK. The feeling that I'm lucky because I'm KK. The feeling that I'm the chosen one because I'm KK. Those are the feelings that I need to regain back in order for me to feel right again. In order for me to feel normal again. In order for me to be like the old me again. Don't wanna be lost anymore. As the old me would be someone who is always certain and sure of whatever he's doing. Therefore, I need that feeling and strength again. In order not to be lost.

P.S. I had my very first blood test yesterday to check for STI. I suppose more specifically to prove myself clean of HIV. It was not as bad as I expected it to be in terms of pain and swelling and so on. So overall it was pretty alright. And now all we have to do is wait for the results to be released next week. Gotta make an appointment with Dr. Hope tomorrow for the coming Friday consult. Hopefully everything is alright *fingers crossed*.

LuvBoBo

Since When I Forgot How To Do So

Over the past few days, I’m supposed to be revising and revisiting the materials that have been taught throughout this whole semester. I ended up could not concentrate as the study method I used was totally not me at all. Until last night, when I was talking to one of my friends that I realized that I have forgotten that was the way to do things. Since when? I mean, since when, did that study method I’ve been using my whole life slip away from my practice? It’s just so unbelievable! Isn’t it? I mean I am who I am and I should be whom I used to be. So today I’m gonna go back to that old me. The confident one. The certain one. 

LuvBoBo.

A Four Season Year

You know people always say how many incidents can happen in a year. Well, in a four season year things are just gonna get more interesting and fascinating. 

Year 2009 is one of the years that passed by so quickly that I didn't even have the chance to glance back and reflect on what had filled this year.

These are some of the significant moments that occurred this year which are really dear to me.

• PETROACT, We were having our AGM the other day and it was at the same venue where we first had our very welcome dinner at our very first day in Canberra. Looking back, it just told you that how fast time has passed and how soon it is to be knowing that I'll be done with my first year at university. Of course, the very first day and night that I spent in Canberra is significant to be posted here in my personal 2009 events journal.
• Traveling, How much I have travelled during these past 9 months or so and how many places I have visited. These experiences are very worth remembering and very enriching at the same time. It's good to know that going to INTEC and undergo the 18 months of torture wasn't so bad after all. You have friends everywhere. Places visited in chronology - Brisbane, Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Gold Coast, Sydney, Sydney. As of now, I'm just gonna save up money and see what I can do for this coming summer.
• Personal life, No doubt that I've gained a lot within these few months and met a lot of people and heaps of guys. Haha. But the most significant one is yet to come but I think he has already appeared in my life. And how everything would proceed would actually depends on the meeting tonight whether we're just gonna be regular meet-ups or proceed to another level. So be patient.

LuvBobo

What's Going On?‏

Not sure what's going on at the moment? But I can't seem to concentrate. I can't even do anything apart from slacking and delaying what I should be doing for both my Marketing and Accounting assignment. Is it because love finally struck on me and that it's on another level compared to those imaginary ones that I've had before? I can't even say what it is for sure. I just know that it finally felt right with Brett and that I'm in bliss whenever I'm with him. The fact that this is happening is sorta predictable after the first meeting that his ex wanna get together again. Kinda should have prepared myself to protect myself from getting hurt. The resistance that he was trying to impose the other night had been for good use but the both of just couldn't resist it. We're just like two people who;re not meant to fall for each other. I know that somewhere some place in his heart that he can't the bear the feelings of leaving me but sometimes that's just the way it is.

To be frank, actually it is not official yet, Everything is just like pending but it seems like I'm kinda already preparing for the worst. So much for being the optimistic me all these while. I just know that I'm afraid to being told what's it gonna be when the time has finally come. Unless it's working for me not against me. So what I could really do now is nothing but just to be praying about it that luck would be on my side. And that's the thing that's keeping me from concentrating with my life and carry on doing stuffs that I'm supposed to be doing.
LuvBoBo

Love or Crush

I'm all guilty right now because as of this very second and moment I should not be having a dilemma whether that's love or just a crush. What's going on with me? 

On the one side, I think I have finally found that someone but the thing is he's been married before and he has two kids. However, I can feel that there's an honesty that's coming from him and I can feel the family-ness with him.

On the other side, I know I'm pretty much a bit greedy and lusty that I realize I have a crush on my coursemate. How pathetic that is. Pathetic because he doesn't even know. Well, he's not supposed to know anyway. Or else it wouldn't be a crush anymore. It'd be more like an unreturned liking. Haha.

Whatever it is, the dilemma here is that should I be focusing on the family guy that I managed to meet in life or should I wait for the little and mere possibilities that somehow crush guy would like me too? 

LuvBoBo

Predestined

As usual I always have my emotional moments when the exams or due dates are approaching and therefore would be wondering away and daydreaming. And that's basically how I get to wonder and thought about this predestined issue. 

I was watching Masterchef this once and then I get to see the pure happiness coming from the hearts of the contestants shown clearly without any hiding on their bright faces. And also while watching the Australian Idol 2009 I get to feel the moments once I treasured so much for being one of the most important elements in my life. And now, all those privileges are being taken and robbed away from me. This incident occurred on the very day that I signed and handed in what I labelled as and called my 'sale of selfness' contract. That's because that marked the very beginning of my predestined life. To be frank and truthful, I'm not a 'rules and regulations' person. I wanna be as flexible and care free as possible as I can. However, this thought seems so far away and merely possible now. 

That's the very when my freedom was taken away from me. Stereotypical thinking might say that people out there would be so envious of me because of this so called 'golden opportunity' offered to me plus the fact that I'm smart, clever, achieved good grades, yada yada yada but I truly and honestly think I envy those people out there more than I think I'm good. Honestly. And seriously. Not to say I don't like my life at the moment and not to say that I'm an ungrateful person either. Just that I don't embrace the thought of the reality that the way I could mould and shape my future is being so limited right now without me breaching the contract.

That's one thing. The second fact that I'm kinda not proud to announce to the world would be that the 'golden opportunity' actually requires me to be very 'detachable'. And that's the thing that I'm not looking forward to either. It's such a sin to give such a irresistible temptation which is basically now still a hole that I can never ever fall into at the moment. Wonder how it would be like to be free again. 

That's all for now I guess before I tune into the 'emotional' mode again.

LuvBoBo

Changes of life

Dear dears,

It's been quite some time since I last posted or wrote anything here. I'm not really sure this is a good sign or the other one. The thing is I usually only post stuffs when I feel the need of having someone to listen to my problems so that I'd feel much better. So I suppose this could be a sign that I'm having less problems nowadays or it's just the fact that I'm either too lazy or too busy to get them heard. Haha. 

Oh well not really. I'm kinda feeling confused and sad at the moment thinking some things here are not gonna be permanent. I always have to move on from one place to another. At least I'm less prone to make rash and irrational decisions nowadays. That's a good thing. But back to the main point, the thing is I don't wanna be so easily attachable and detachable. I don't wanna be flexible like the Post-it Stick On notes. What I''m really asking for is so that good things that ever happen to me stay with me. I do realize that my journey here in Australia has become more and more interesting but the thing is as we always say, all thing have to come to an end. Well, can it not please. Because frankly even though I'm the type of person who seeks changes in life, at the same time I'm also vulnerable and scared of the unknowns that are awaiting me ahead in life.

To some people it mat seems like a good thing to have a bit of a mystery and surprise in life. Good ones are not too bad though. It's all about when someone is starting to have real connections and real attachments to something that they're committed to, then that's the hard thing to give up in life.

LuvBobo

Pondering Upon Life

The exams are coming really really soon but all that I can think of is actually why is there so much to study, as in why do people have to study for so many years before being "tortured" or "abused" in the work force. Come to think of it, isn't it so just so unfair. The effort and time being poured into creating a future is exactly the same as preparing yourself so that you are able to feed yourself in the coming future. Where on earth is the "enjoyment" element here? Is this the main reason of education? Sometimes I really wonder upon it and sometimes I am just on the verge of investigating what is the true meaning of life like the Buddha did during his time.

When we talk about true love, people think we are purely so naive. When we talk about one big happy family, people think that is unbelievably childish. Then why is there fairy tale in the first place? Why place hope upon someone who is innocent and  turn around to crush them by telling them those are pure fantasies and are very unlikely to be happening in this cruel reality of life? Why can't this world become simple and easy again just like "Giselle" in the movie "Enchanted"? Why can't everyone have their dream come true and meet with their Prince Charming like Cinderella did?

LuvBoBo

 

Love

I think I'm in love. It's hard to say or describe but after being so long I think I might be having a crush again. It certainly is not the best feeling in the world as it makes one feel so insecured and yet at the same time feel love in the air. Being in love is definitely not the same as having a crush, How I wish I am in love right now rather than loving or liking someone in the most passive mode ever. This is really driving me insane because I just don't know how to respond in this kind of situation because I obviously have not been dealing well with this kind of situation in the past. Looking back at the history of FS, then FB, then Mr.Y. Sigh. 

I just finished the quite a perfect date but the thing is it felt more like a parting dinner. I totally have no idea why it felt that way but that is just the fact. Probably because I am sure that in the future I probably get to meet him less compared to before. It's such a sad case that you're unable to tell that particular guy in the face in person that you have feelings for him. I feel totally disabled as this point of time. However, I believe the angels of love have been kind enough to me for letting me had the chance to dine with him.

I only have one more wish right now which is for the fate to be on my sight to let me have more chances of communicating with him. I certainly would not want our first dinner date to be the last moment we're gonna be interacting with each other (although it may seem so). It is just a mere seven more months left for the opportunity to spark. I mean, after seven months, who knows what and who is to predict the future. We might lose contact just like that. How sad a thing that would be, right? I mean, why is it that all the guys that I have crushes on would have to part with me eventually? Physically, of course. Not to say that it is relationship wise.

LuvBoBo

thinking about life

after about two months now in Australia..I realize that there is one thing that I constantly did..and that that is pondering upon my real purpose of being here at the ANU..sigh..I know it's kinda late and stupid to this kinda thing now..but that's just the fact..we all need to reflect on our lives every now and then..I mean..that's how we improve right..talking about improvement and changes in life..I personally think that I've changed a lot..the thing I don't really understand is that why I'm not so me anymore..where has the artistic me gone to..why am I not singing anymore..why am I not writing songs anymore..why am I suddenly the person who subsribes to The Economist and force myself to read articles and articles that I don't really understand or even care about..why am I not a cry-baby anymore..I expected or predicted my self to cry for hours and hours on the day I departed for Canberra..why am I suddenly so corporate..and the most important thing is that why on earth am I here at uni doing something which is not really on my own will..why am I even doing this to myself..why didn't I rebel and protest the fact that I want to be in the entertainment field..where on earth has the rebellious side of me gone to..maybe and just maybe..this is what people call the process of life and the process of growing up..because why no one even bothered to do the April fool trick yesterday..is it because it is too silly to do so and just pure immatured..I definitely have no answer to those questions..but one thing I know for sure is that I've accepted fate..but I won't let fate lives my life..I mean..this is my life..no matter how fate has arranged for me I still have the rights to lead the way I like..or on other word..living the way that I would suffer the least..haha..people must have thought that I've gone crazy or nuts..but the fact is that I'm alright and I'm not having any emotional break down..I mean it's just hey..has anyone thought of so many things about our lives before..perhaps yes but maybe not..people are just too busy to think of these kinds of little details..however..these details are the ones that can make understand more about life..I believe..at the least that's what I thought what the Buddha would want me to understand..hardships or no hardships..that's just how life is supposed to be..but happy or not..it all depends on how we want it to be..

LuvBoBo..

one week of Australian life

having settling in for more than a week now in Canberra at the ANU..I deeply feel that there are just so many activities to attend to keep ourselves occupied..perhaps this is all what O-Week is all about..to get attached and not to be homesick especially to all newcomers..but at the same time I do feel that we have too little time to attend all those stuffs..it's due to the reason that most of them clash with one another and we have to choose one to attend..that's the hard part..it kinda gives you a feeling of dilemma..

speaking about dilemma..I have to confess that I'm in a very very great dilemma..but I guess the seriousness of this problem only applies to me because it's very much personal..it's all about relationships and stuff..and every night when I was about to got to bed..I just get this "Oh my God!" thingy clouding over my mind polluting me with imaginations..wild wild imaginations..sigh..

another thing is that..it ws my birthday yesterday..although there wasn't any celebrations going on..it wasn't the worst or the loneliest birthday though..perhaps it's because I have more than 30 friends wishing "Happy Birthday"..or perhaps more..well I kinda have to admit that I'm kinda old now..joining the 20s..haha..but looking on the bright side..I'll be 21 soon ..which is about 12 more months to come..and I'll be an official international adult..I guess that's when we need to have the biggest and craziest birthday party of my life..haha..keep dreaming..but I can't promise that I won't though..it'll be no harm if by then I already have lots of Aussie dudes and beauties as friends..and more importantly..it'll definitely fall on summer holidays..

LuvBoBo..

a new life a new experience

oh my gosh..just where do I start exactly..

it has been a really worth it experience of coming to this new place..

the capital of Australia, Canberra and coming to the ANU..

I just never thought I would fall in love in this place so much that practically I don't regret my choice anymore..

well..I only regretted for a while when I was still on the Dash on the way to land onto Canberra..

the people here are just absolutely fabulous and extremely friendly..

and I just love the food and culture here..although food can be a little expensive though..

not only I am in love with Canberra..I guess I am also in love with the ANU and the people here as well..

I kinda had a crush on this particular person before I even got here..well..and i just kept bumping into him every now and then..which just kinda polluted my mind a lot..haiz..

and that yesterday while at the Village watching the circus..I kinda saw something I should not have and it's really disturbing my mind now..

well..I guess I'll just have to ditch the problem aside for a moment as to not ruin my mood..haha..

well..I dunno..I just feel very belonged here in Canberra..I felt like it's very meant to be..I have a very natural love thingy for this place..I hope it's just temporary..haha..not that I don't want to like this place..it's just that I definitely can't forget my obligations towards my country and my company..

I guess that's all for now..someone has called for hangouts..

LuvBoBo..

my jay chou collection

after a few more weeks..I'm gonna further my studies overseas..one of the things that I think I might find it hard to leave behind is my jay chou collection..can I ever live 3 years without them..is no even an option..I mean I can't really bring all the CDs and merchandises over..haiz..what a big headache..if they are not with me..will I change my preference in years to come..will I be more attracted to overseas singers..haiz..dilemma..what can I do other than saying that I would really miss them..for sure I would..no lies..
what has jay chou done to me..haha..

what is future like?

I guess for those who have already known me for quite some time definitely know that I'm currently moving on a track what others have set for me..not quite the one I really wanted..in about a few more weeks I'm gonna move on to another level or rather another dimension of my life..I'm not really sure whether I'm prepared for it or not..but at the same time I just dunno why I act like I already in front of others..and I've already slowly starting to realize that I'm slowly but consciously letting my childhood dream slipping away from my grip..am I really ready for that kind of change..I really have no answer for that..sometimes I can only live a day and wonder a day..in these past few days I have pondered upon the reality of life..all I could say is that I still believe in dreams and miracles in this world..so I will always tell myself not to give up so easily..who knows..a powerful question..'cos really nobody knows what's really gonna happen in the future..even just minutes or seconds apart..

LuvBoBo..