I was watching Masterchef this once and then I get to see the pure happiness coming from the hearts of the contestants shown clearly without any hiding on their bright faces. And also while watching the Australian Idol 2009 I get to feel the moments once I treasured so much for being one of the most important elements in my life. And now, all those privileges are being taken and robbed away from me. This incident occurred on the very day that I signed and handed in what I labelled as and called my 'sale of selfness' contract. That's because that marked the very beginning of my predestined life. To be frank and truthful, I'm not a 'rules and regulations' person. I wanna be as flexible and care free as possible as I can. However, this thought seems so far away and merely possible now.
That's the very when my freedom was taken away from me. Stereotypical thinking might say that people out there would be so envious of me because of this so called 'golden opportunity' offered to me plus the fact that I'm smart, clever, achieved good grades, yada yada yada but I truly and honestly think I envy those people out there more than I think I'm good. Honestly. And seriously. Not to say I don't like my life at the moment and not to say that I'm an ungrateful person either. Just that I don't embrace the thought of the reality that the way I could mould and shape my future is being so limited right now without me breaching the contract.
That's one thing. The second fact that I'm kinda not proud to announce to the world would be that the 'golden opportunity' actually requires me to be very 'detachable'. And that's the thing that I'm not looking forward to either. It's such a sin to give such a irresistible temptation which is basically now still a hole that I can never ever fall into at the moment. Wonder how it would be like to be free again.
That's all for now I guess before I tune into the 'emotional' mode again.
LuvBoBo
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