Lost

These few days have been really weird for me. I feel different to the person that I used to be. I feel strange with all the unfamiliar feelings that I felt. I don't feel as 'me' anymore if you know what I mean. The cockiness. The certainty. The confidence. The bitchiness. The feeling of I'm sure I'm right. Because lately I really don't think all these apply to me as frequent as they used to. So hopefully I'll gain myself back soon and bounce back to normal. That's what I felt for the Econ paper this morning. Like, I'm not sure anymore what I'm doing, either to myself or with myself. So I need to find and regain myself. The old me. For the betterment of the remaining papers that I would have to sit for and for the betterment of the interview that I would have to attend.

I need to feel right again. The feeling that I'm right because I'm KK. The feeling that I'm lucky because I'm KK. The feeling that I'm the chosen one because I'm KK. Those are the feelings that I need to regain back in order for me to feel right again. In order for me to feel normal again. In order for me to be like the old me again. Don't wanna be lost anymore. As the old me would be someone who is always certain and sure of whatever he's doing. Therefore, I need that feeling and strength again. In order not to be lost.

P.S. I had my very first blood test yesterday to check for STI. I suppose more specifically to prove myself clean of HIV. It was not as bad as I expected it to be in terms of pain and swelling and so on. So overall it was pretty alright. And now all we have to do is wait for the results to be released next week. Gotta make an appointment with Dr. Hope tomorrow for the coming Friday consult. Hopefully everything is alright *fingers crossed*.

LuvBoBo