And Here I Am

Having an conversation the other day with A made me realized that I actually kinda like him but at the same time it also made me realized that I could have been liking him and wanting him just because I still haven't given up and moved on from B. I know that sounds awfully complicated but that's the way it is now. When he said 'no', initially I did feel a pinch but afterwards I realized it is not a pinch of rejection, but more of a wake up pinch. A wake up call that made realized I could have just been wanting him as a substitute for B. The reason why I finally became clear was because that when B texted me the other day saying he'll probably find out whether he's finally going interstate in two weeks' time, I could still feel the kick in the gut, and hence that's when I found out I have not truly moved on from him. And as I have told myself until I do so, it would be unwise and unfair to let someone else in. And therefore, I haven't and here I am being single and all.