Woke up at around 5 this morning. Just couldn't sleep. Lying on my bed, rolling about and thinking much about him and miss him lots too.
Of all my 20 years worth of experience watching love dramas and romantic movies, I know there are two types of girls (well, in conventional context) in this world when it comes to guys. One is the type who will put aside anything, anything for the sake for the guy that she loves. The other type is the one who moves on and does her own stuffs and probably does not pay as much attention to her man as the time she spends with her own career or similar stuffs like that. Well, I guess you all can know by now that I'm probably 90% the former and 10% the latter.
Well, what can I do about it? Like, seriously? Am born a love angel with a soft and fragile heart that cares more about others than my own self.
And yes, just in case you're wondering, I am hurt. Hurt and hurt deeply. It is painful because B is still in Canberra and we have the capacity to be with each other still but he just shuts me off and kinda left in the dark wondering. Wondering whether I would be able to see him again or even have a decent conversation again.
As much as I always say that I would love him to stay in Canberra, the fact is I love him enough to let him go if he gets a new job elsewhere. I love him enough to not be selfish to keep him by my side and restrict him from having the future or career that he wants. I guess at the end of the day, I just have to reflect on what's the meaning of love in this kinda situation.
But now, now he's still here. I don't see any reason for us not to be together. All I'm asking for is that before the time comes, I just ask for us to be together as much as we can. The so-called 'cherish the moment'.
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