Watching back the drama series that I love so much a few years back, it reminds me of how naive, innocent and shallow I used to be. That’s the me a few years back. Way different from the me today. Different probably for the way I express myself nowadays as turning 21 is just another way of saying that it is time to put a stop to acting childishly. However, people don’t really know the way I think or I feel deep inside my heart. Still soft and fragile as before. Still hopeful and overly optimistic at times. Still willing to do anything for someone who managed to capture and captivate my heart.
But somehow, I think that the change is good. Good because today I have someone close to my heart that I can actually be and spend time with. Unlike in the past, where I can like that person from afar and wonder whether my feelings would be reciprocated, which is pretty much not.
Speaking about change, it also reminded me lots about my ambitions before this. I have always wanted to be a superstar who one day could be as famous and hot-selling as LadyGaGa, if not more. But the other day, it just daunts on me that how much one would have to sacrifice in order to reach that state in life. The time, the availability for friends/family/loved ones etc.
And the other day, while doing my revision at the library, I was just thinking and wondering “Is being an accountant really something that I want?” even though this must be the millionth time I have asked myself the same-old question. Is obsessing about PwC really something that I have passion about? Well, I can’t say for sure but what I can say for sure is that it suddenly daunts on me, what if, what if what I really want in life is just the ability to enjoy life. Inspired after watching SATC2, I was wondering how nice it would be to be a writer, writing about things I have passion for (like now), and spend the spare time that I have while not writing with my friends, family and loved ones, and also cooking and experimenting with crazy and creative ideas, plus going through the ultimate dining experience every week. Wouldn’t a life like that be super-duper wonderful? (I think now you what I mean when I say my thinking is still pretty naive and childish.) But, I think this kinda lifestyle is achievable. It could be my retirement plans. No harm if I could spend the rest of my life with him. And that’s definitely something worth fighting for.
Transferred from betabetasigma
No comments:
Post a Comment