Soon Enough

This morning I woke and opened my eyes thinking that, yeah, it is just yet another day but in fact it isn't. As I came back from my 'salad essentials' shopping, I found out that today is already the 30th and so tomorrow is gonna be NYE and soon enough B will be coming back. So yay! It clearly isn't just yet another day as every day that has passed by this week marks that I'm one day closer to seeing him. And so, yeah, I'm excited. I mean who wouldn't, right. 

Speaking of excitement and NYE, it just reminds me how pathetic it is not being able to celebrate NYE in a more glamorous manner. Was initially thinking of celebrating in Sydney, which I would been arriving there by now, but I cancelled last minute. I just realized that how broke I have become recently and I just could not afford to lavish myself in any luxurious manner. How sad that it? I know, right? 

However, that's all alright for me because something is telling me that I'm in actual fact more excited about the fact that I'm gonna be able to see B in a few days' time rather than getting all hyped up about the Sydney NYE event which would happen every year as well eventually. If not this year, then the countdown to 2011 then some time 365 days from now, right? No biggie.

LuvBoBo

28 29 30 31

Today's the 28th. It's about four more days to go to 2010! I should be excited because a few days after the new year has arrived, I would be able to welcome back B! It is not easy to spend every day missing about him. And I promise this time when I see him I'll gather up all the courage in me to tell him how I feel about him. At least I want him to know that I have deep and great feelings for him.

I'm really gonna prepare myself for this. No joke this time.

LuvBoBo

Another Day

Today is the feeling of Celine Dion's song "A New Day Has Come". That's exactly what I'm feeling at the moment. It's like today is just another day but every day is a new day. And we're on our very way to countdowning and welcoming year 2010. After all it is already the 27th of December and it is just a couple more days before the new year arrives which also reminds me that it is just a couple of days more to seeing him. I just can't wait for that to happen. In short, he has taken me away.

Summer school is about to start too. I wonder what's the feeling of that. Certainly can't be slacking anymore as it is an intensive and driving course due to its very nature.

However, before I get to worry about the Summer School, I am more worried about the fact that how I am gonna spend this NYE. It's not like there's nothing going to welcome the new year but there's really nothing at the moment inside wallets and bank accounts. Empty. How am I supposed to be spending a nice and unforgettable NYE and welcome the new year if the pocket's empty. I have absolutely no idea and that's why I have started to worry. I don't wanna coup up in the house with the TV entertaining me. I need more. I need fun. I need distractions. To get the 'missing B' feelings out of my way. I know it's not wrong to miss somebody that badly. It just proves that how much I have fallen for him. But I'm pretty sure he'd want me to enjoy my NYE as well.

LuvBoBo

It's Raining

It has been raining here for two days consecutively. I wish I could be telling him this, but he's like 9 hours plus flight away hopefully enjoying himself in Thailand. I guess I do miss him. But I totally have no means of contacting him at the moment. I suppose I will only be hearing from him in about a week's time. Gosh I think I really miss him so much.

I just can't wait to hear from him, listening to all his wonderful moments in Thailand. And I just can't wait to see him, to kiss him and more. Hope I can keep myself occupied enough this few days so that I won't feel like time is passing slow. Time passing fast means that I get to see B sooner and that I can get to move into the new apartment sooner. At the same time it also means that I would have to start school soon too. For B, I'm willing for it to be so.

LuvBoBo

I Think I Love Him

Today is Christmas Day 2009! It was a great day but I never thought I would feel so lonely as well. Lonely because I missed that special someone so much that I'm constantly thinking and restless. This just proves that how much I am really into him. I never thought of it would be this deep. Therefore, the relationship would better be lasting. If not, I'm sure that I'm gonna get hurt deep. 

I was thinking about the conversation that I had with one of my seniors last night. We somehow talked about sex should be done with the person you have feelings with and care for despite how sometimes we're horny and need a hook up. I sorta totally agree on it. Look at how much affection B and I have for each other now. I only hope so much that he cares that much for me as well and treasure our relationship the way I do. Because I think I love him. 

LuvBoBo

An Amazing Night

Last night was really an amazing night that I got to spend with the right person, whom I really wanted to spend time with. And yes, you have guessed correctly that the person is B. I know, right.

Sometimes it isn't about what a couple does, where they spend time at, how long was the date and so on. It's more like whom they spend the time with. I honestly didn't regret a single bit of giving my time and attention to my special one at the moment.

Every time we caught up, he made me feel special about myself, about our relationship. And that's what matters.

LuvBoBo

Life

Life.

What an interesting story it can paint.

I think all the ups and downs of life are the main factors that make life worth living but of course everyone would be wishing that they have more ups than downs. Who wouldn't, right? And as for me, I've recently been feeling a lot downs in my life but I'm not ashamed to admit it cause I know maybe that could just be how God is punishing me for all the bad things that I may have done in the past. 

This coming new year, I really hope that I can once again step out into the world out of my comfort nest. After 'hibernating' in this little nest of mine, I suppose it's time to be out there again. Well, I'll admit it. I'm a little bit afraid and nervous to be there again. That day, while I was walking back from groceries, I suddenly had a very weird feeling. That lonely feeling that I'm alone again, powerless and all. Well, I certainly hope that's not gonna be true because that would just be a disaster after building such strong empire back in those days and suddenly to have me collapse to ground zero would just be utterly unacceptable. 

These few days, I'm just at home being a carefree person enjoying my summer break to the max discounting those summer flings, of course, haha. And that's because, even though I'm still a college guy and it's supposed to be about fun, I consider the priority to the fact that my heart belongs to someone whom I really care about. And I really hope that we can last for as long as we can. Because no one has ever let me feel so deep and passionate about a relationship. For all those guys in the past, those are mere one-sided unreturned love but this time I do feel something very warm coming from his side even though he keeps on questioning himself that he might hurt me one day. Well, if he can hurt me, that only proves that how much he has let me fall for him all these while.

LuvBoBo

The Person In My Life

I know that this is kinda overly dramatic trying to say that now B is the man in my life. But as crazy and as dramatic as it sounds, he is at the moment. I always questioned and thought that I won't be a faithful person and would like to fool around and have fun considering my age and stuffs. But I am actually not. As surprising as it sounds, I am actually kinda faithful and respect my partner. Even though B might be the first official partner I have ever been into, he might already be the person whom I will take care of and like to be taken care of by. And although we're kinda not totally official yet, I am already devoting myself to him. WTH right. He always says that at my age I should be going out and have more fun and stuffs. And meet people. Yeah, that's what I'll do but everything with my clothes on from now on unless I got really wasted, the kind that would get me hungover the next day. And that's exactly what I have told him too. Both of us know that there's is a chance that he would leave Canberra for a his career. Honestly, I have no plans when that really happens. And yesterday he asked me what I would do if he got back with his ex, and I said I dunno because I don't really anticipate for that to happen. As naive as it may sound, but I know this is what relationship should be like, isn't it. The fact that you never know what's exactly gonna happen and the fact that when two people are together, they feel like the whole world has disappeared and the time has stopped and that at that moment of time, being together seems like a very important thing and being together seems like forever. That's exactly what I'm feeling at the moment. I guess this is what a relationship is all about.

LuvBoBo

Questions

I don't get it. Why am I questioning myself? Why am I not confident at all? I think I may have found the perfect for me, who cares for me, who is concerned about me and all. But why am I not giving myself in to him? Why am I still questioning? How come I am still not trusting him 100% when I should have quite some time ago? I really don't have the answer with me. Is it because there are too many opposing views out there telling me that this is not the right guy for me? Well, I don't really care at the moment. I don't mind he's 42. I don't mind that he has an ex-wife. I don't mind that he has an ex-bf whom he brings traveling with. I don't mind that he has kids. I don't mind him at all. But the thing that I don't really get is the fact that sometimes I'm doubting him. Sometimes I feel like he's cheating on me. But somehow I also feel like he's not at the same time. I feel that he really does care for me and that he'll be truthful and loyal to me. Is this what people say the true beauty of a relationship? That you can't know for sure what's gonna happen next and what it has for you the very next second or minute. I have absolutely no idea. But one thing for sure is that I know very well deep within me that I feel happy, full and satisfied whenever I'm with him. Is that enough to prove that he's the one for me?

LuvBoBo