Pondering Upon Life

The exams are coming really really soon but all that I can think of is actually why is there so much to study, as in why do people have to study for so many years before being "tortured" or "abused" in the work force. Come to think of it, isn't it so just so unfair. The effort and time being poured into creating a future is exactly the same as preparing yourself so that you are able to feed yourself in the coming future. Where on earth is the "enjoyment" element here? Is this the main reason of education? Sometimes I really wonder upon it and sometimes I am just on the verge of investigating what is the true meaning of life like the Buddha did during his time.

When we talk about true love, people think we are purely so naive. When we talk about one big happy family, people think that is unbelievably childish. Then why is there fairy tale in the first place? Why place hope upon someone who is innocent and  turn around to crush them by telling them those are pure fantasies and are very unlikely to be happening in this cruel reality of life? Why can't this world become simple and easy again just like "Giselle" in the movie "Enchanted"? Why can't everyone have their dream come true and meet with their Prince Charming like Cinderella did?

LuvBoBo

 

Love

I think I'm in love. It's hard to say or describe but after being so long I think I might be having a crush again. It certainly is not the best feeling in the world as it makes one feel so insecured and yet at the same time feel love in the air. Being in love is definitely not the same as having a crush, How I wish I am in love right now rather than loving or liking someone in the most passive mode ever. This is really driving me insane because I just don't know how to respond in this kind of situation because I obviously have not been dealing well with this kind of situation in the past. Looking back at the history of FS, then FB, then Mr.Y. Sigh. 

I just finished the quite a perfect date but the thing is it felt more like a parting dinner. I totally have no idea why it felt that way but that is just the fact. Probably because I am sure that in the future I probably get to meet him less compared to before. It's such a sad case that you're unable to tell that particular guy in the face in person that you have feelings for him. I feel totally disabled as this point of time. However, I believe the angels of love have been kind enough to me for letting me had the chance to dine with him.

I only have one more wish right now which is for the fate to be on my sight to let me have more chances of communicating with him. I certainly would not want our first dinner date to be the last moment we're gonna be interacting with each other (although it may seem so). It is just a mere seven more months left for the opportunity to spark. I mean, after seven months, who knows what and who is to predict the future. We might lose contact just like that. How sad a thing that would be, right? I mean, why is it that all the guys that I have crushes on would have to part with me eventually? Physically, of course. Not to say that it is relationship wise.

LuvBoBo

thinking about life

after about two months now in Australia..I realize that there is one thing that I constantly did..and that that is pondering upon my real purpose of being here at the ANU..sigh..I know it's kinda late and stupid to this kinda thing now..but that's just the fact..we all need to reflect on our lives every now and then..I mean..that's how we improve right..talking about improvement and changes in life..I personally think that I've changed a lot..the thing I don't really understand is that why I'm not so me anymore..where has the artistic me gone to..why am I not singing anymore..why am I not writing songs anymore..why am I suddenly the person who subsribes to The Economist and force myself to read articles and articles that I don't really understand or even care about..why am I not a cry-baby anymore..I expected or predicted my self to cry for hours and hours on the day I departed for Canberra..why am I suddenly so corporate..and the most important thing is that why on earth am I here at uni doing something which is not really on my own will..why am I even doing this to myself..why didn't I rebel and protest the fact that I want to be in the entertainment field..where on earth has the rebellious side of me gone to..maybe and just maybe..this is what people call the process of life and the process of growing up..because why no one even bothered to do the April fool trick yesterday..is it because it is too silly to do so and just pure immatured..I definitely have no answer to those questions..but one thing I know for sure is that I've accepted fate..but I won't let fate lives my life..I mean..this is my life..no matter how fate has arranged for me I still have the rights to lead the way I like..or on other word..living the way that I would suffer the least..haha..people must have thought that I've gone crazy or nuts..but the fact is that I'm alright and I'm not having any emotional break down..I mean it's just hey..has anyone thought of so many things about our lives before..perhaps yes but maybe not..people are just too busy to think of these kinds of little details..however..these details are the ones that can make understand more about life..I believe..at the least that's what I thought what the Buddha would want me to understand..hardships or no hardships..that's just how life is supposed to be..but happy or not..it all depends on how we want it to be..

LuvBoBo..

one week of Australian life

having settling in for more than a week now in Canberra at the ANU..I deeply feel that there are just so many activities to attend to keep ourselves occupied..perhaps this is all what O-Week is all about..to get attached and not to be homesick especially to all newcomers..but at the same time I do feel that we have too little time to attend all those stuffs..it's due to the reason that most of them clash with one another and we have to choose one to attend..that's the hard part..it kinda gives you a feeling of dilemma..

speaking about dilemma..I have to confess that I'm in a very very great dilemma..but I guess the seriousness of this problem only applies to me because it's very much personal..it's all about relationships and stuff..and every night when I was about to got to bed..I just get this "Oh my God!" thingy clouding over my mind polluting me with imaginations..wild wild imaginations..sigh..

another thing is that..it ws my birthday yesterday..although there wasn't any celebrations going on..it wasn't the worst or the loneliest birthday though..perhaps it's because I have more than 30 friends wishing "Happy Birthday"..or perhaps more..well I kinda have to admit that I'm kinda old now..joining the 20s..haha..but looking on the bright side..I'll be 21 soon ..which is about 12 more months to come..and I'll be an official international adult..I guess that's when we need to have the biggest and craziest birthday party of my life..haha..keep dreaming..but I can't promise that I won't though..it'll be no harm if by then I already have lots of Aussie dudes and beauties as friends..and more importantly..it'll definitely fall on summer holidays..

LuvBoBo..

a new life a new experience

oh my gosh..just where do I start exactly..

it has been a really worth it experience of coming to this new place..

the capital of Australia, Canberra and coming to the ANU..

I just never thought I would fall in love in this place so much that practically I don't regret my choice anymore..

well..I only regretted for a while when I was still on the Dash on the way to land onto Canberra..

the people here are just absolutely fabulous and extremely friendly..

and I just love the food and culture here..although food can be a little expensive though..

not only I am in love with Canberra..I guess I am also in love with the ANU and the people here as well..

I kinda had a crush on this particular person before I even got here..well..and i just kept bumping into him every now and then..which just kinda polluted my mind a lot..haiz..

and that yesterday while at the Village watching the circus..I kinda saw something I should not have and it's really disturbing my mind now..

well..I guess I'll just have to ditch the problem aside for a moment as to not ruin my mood..haha..

well..I dunno..I just feel very belonged here in Canberra..I felt like it's very meant to be..I have a very natural love thingy for this place..I hope it's just temporary..haha..not that I don't want to like this place..it's just that I definitely can't forget my obligations towards my country and my company..

I guess that's all for now..someone has called for hangouts..

LuvBoBo..

my jay chou collection

after a few more weeks..I'm gonna further my studies overseas..one of the things that I think I might find it hard to leave behind is my jay chou collection..can I ever live 3 years without them..is no even an option..I mean I can't really bring all the CDs and merchandises over..haiz..what a big headache..if they are not with me..will I change my preference in years to come..will I be more attracted to overseas singers..haiz..dilemma..what can I do other than saying that I would really miss them..for sure I would..no lies..
what has jay chou done to me..haha..

what is future like?

I guess for those who have already known me for quite some time definitely know that I'm currently moving on a track what others have set for me..not quite the one I really wanted..in about a few more weeks I'm gonna move on to another level or rather another dimension of my life..I'm not really sure whether I'm prepared for it or not..but at the same time I just dunno why I act like I already in front of others..and I've already slowly starting to realize that I'm slowly but consciously letting my childhood dream slipping away from my grip..am I really ready for that kind of change..I really have no answer for that..sometimes I can only live a day and wonder a day..in these past few days I have pondered upon the reality of life..all I could say is that I still believe in dreams and miracles in this world..so I will always tell myself not to give up so easily..who knows..a powerful question..'cos really nobody knows what's really gonna happen in the future..even just minutes or seconds apart..

LuvBoBo..