thinking about life

after about two months now in Australia..I realize that there is one thing that I constantly did..and that that is pondering upon my real purpose of being here at the ANU..sigh..I know it's kinda late and stupid to this kinda thing now..but that's just the fact..we all need to reflect on our lives every now and then..I mean..that's how we improve right..talking about improvement and changes in life..I personally think that I've changed a lot..the thing I don't really understand is that why I'm not so me anymore..where has the artistic me gone to..why am I not singing anymore..why am I not writing songs anymore..why am I suddenly the person who subsribes to The Economist and force myself to read articles and articles that I don't really understand or even care about..why am I not a cry-baby anymore..I expected or predicted my self to cry for hours and hours on the day I departed for Canberra..why am I suddenly so corporate..and the most important thing is that why on earth am I here at uni doing something which is not really on my own will..why am I even doing this to myself..why didn't I rebel and protest the fact that I want to be in the entertainment field..where on earth has the rebellious side of me gone to..maybe and just maybe..this is what people call the process of life and the process of growing up..because why no one even bothered to do the April fool trick yesterday..is it because it is too silly to do so and just pure immatured..I definitely have no answer to those questions..but one thing I know for sure is that I've accepted fate..but I won't let fate lives my life..I mean..this is my life..no matter how fate has arranged for me I still have the rights to lead the way I like..or on other word..living the way that I would suffer the least..haha..people must have thought that I've gone crazy or nuts..but the fact is that I'm alright and I'm not having any emotional break down..I mean it's just hey..has anyone thought of so many things about our lives before..perhaps yes but maybe not..people are just too busy to think of these kinds of little details..however..these details are the ones that can make understand more about life..I believe..at the least that's what I thought what the Buddha would want me to understand..hardships or no hardships..that's just how life is supposed to be..but happy or not..it all depends on how we want it to be..

LuvBoBo..

one week of Australian life

having settling in for more than a week now in Canberra at the ANU..I deeply feel that there are just so many activities to attend to keep ourselves occupied..perhaps this is all what O-Week is all about..to get attached and not to be homesick especially to all newcomers..but at the same time I do feel that we have too little time to attend all those stuffs..it's due to the reason that most of them clash with one another and we have to choose one to attend..that's the hard part..it kinda gives you a feeling of dilemma..

speaking about dilemma..I have to confess that I'm in a very very great dilemma..but I guess the seriousness of this problem only applies to me because it's very much personal..it's all about relationships and stuff..and every night when I was about to got to bed..I just get this "Oh my God!" thingy clouding over my mind polluting me with imaginations..wild wild imaginations..sigh..

another thing is that..it ws my birthday yesterday..although there wasn't any celebrations going on..it wasn't the worst or the loneliest birthday though..perhaps it's because I have more than 30 friends wishing "Happy Birthday"..or perhaps more..well I kinda have to admit that I'm kinda old now..joining the 20s..haha..but looking on the bright side..I'll be 21 soon ..which is about 12 more months to come..and I'll be an official international adult..I guess that's when we need to have the biggest and craziest birthday party of my life..haha..keep dreaming..but I can't promise that I won't though..it'll be no harm if by then I already have lots of Aussie dudes and beauties as friends..and more importantly..it'll definitely fall on summer holidays..

LuvBoBo..

a new life a new experience

oh my gosh..just where do I start exactly..

it has been a really worth it experience of coming to this new place..

the capital of Australia, Canberra and coming to the ANU..

I just never thought I would fall in love in this place so much that practically I don't regret my choice anymore..

well..I only regretted for a while when I was still on the Dash on the way to land onto Canberra..

the people here are just absolutely fabulous and extremely friendly..

and I just love the food and culture here..although food can be a little expensive though..

not only I am in love with Canberra..I guess I am also in love with the ANU and the people here as well..

I kinda had a crush on this particular person before I even got here..well..and i just kept bumping into him every now and then..which just kinda polluted my mind a lot..haiz..

and that yesterday while at the Village watching the circus..I kinda saw something I should not have and it's really disturbing my mind now..

well..I guess I'll just have to ditch the problem aside for a moment as to not ruin my mood..haha..

well..I dunno..I just feel very belonged here in Canberra..I felt like it's very meant to be..I have a very natural love thingy for this place..I hope it's just temporary..haha..not that I don't want to like this place..it's just that I definitely can't forget my obligations towards my country and my company..

I guess that's all for now..someone has called for hangouts..

LuvBoBo..

my jay chou collection

after a few more weeks..I'm gonna further my studies overseas..one of the things that I think I might find it hard to leave behind is my jay chou collection..can I ever live 3 years without them..is no even an option..I mean I can't really bring all the CDs and merchandises over..haiz..what a big headache..if they are not with me..will I change my preference in years to come..will I be more attracted to overseas singers..haiz..dilemma..what can I do other than saying that I would really miss them..for sure I would..no lies..
what has jay chou done to me..haha..

what is future like?

I guess for those who have already known me for quite some time definitely know that I'm currently moving on a track what others have set for me..not quite the one I really wanted..in about a few more weeks I'm gonna move on to another level or rather another dimension of my life..I'm not really sure whether I'm prepared for it or not..but at the same time I just dunno why I act like I already in front of others..and I've already slowly starting to realize that I'm slowly but consciously letting my childhood dream slipping away from my grip..am I really ready for that kind of change..I really have no answer for that..sometimes I can only live a day and wonder a day..in these past few days I have pondered upon the reality of life..all I could say is that I still believe in dreams and miracles in this world..so I will always tell myself not to give up so easily..who knows..a powerful question..'cos really nobody knows what's really gonna happen in the future..even just minutes or seconds apart..

LuvBoBo..

Sunday 07 September 2008

Today I finally went to the Shah Alam Buddhist Temple, after so many weeks of absence over there. But it was a tremendous wow. I really learned a lot from one of my favorite speakers, Dr. Chan. She’s a great speaker. Maybe she’s a speaker whom I really look up to at Dharma talks. She shared about the five precepts and the five ennoblers today in a very interesting way as usual. I guess only hers and Uncle Vijaya’s talks have not made me dozed off so far. They are able to present their talks in a very well planned and organized manner. Perhaps it’s due to the fact that they are both teachers. Well, if I were to really like the career of teaching, I really do have a lot to learn from these two super seniors. In my opinion, the part that really captured my attention for the Dharma talk today was the second part rather than the first because the latter was more towards answering those FAQ that really freed our minds from cracking just to figure out how to put the five precepts into proper daily practices. However, the second part was really amazing as it let me realize how much I would still have to catch up to be not only a better Buddhist, but also as an improved person as a whole i.e. a student, a learner and so on. Metta. This is really a very strong word to me now as, if I’m not mistaken; it all starts with the generating and sharing of loving kindness to all beings in this world. It’s just so wonderful and perfect that made me didn’t regret at all attending today’s session. And I just don’t know why each time I attended a Dharma talk, I just have that kind of relief in me which eventually made me feel happier and lighter, besides being wiser and seeing things in a more open-minded way. I guess that’s just what a holy place such as the temple can do to us. Haha. From this moment onwards, I’m gonna really try my real best to practice metta as I would wanna have the love and peace surrounding me. Wish me luck. Haha. And today is also officially the 7th day I fast which is equivalent to a week; that is if I were fasting today. I didn’t because I knew I was going to the temple so no religious conflict, alright. Luv BoBo.

妈妈的爱

今天我得了一个新发现
我发现到妈妈脸上的憔悴
我发现到妈妈这些年来真的老了
我发现到妈妈这些年的努力和付出
都设为了孩子们
而我能感觉到她最大的付出是为了我
为了看到毕业
为了看到我做有用的人
我突然间好想妈妈哟
突然间好想跟她道谢
也很想跟他道歉
有时候生命就是这样
竟然会没发现这些得点点滴滴
身为一个孩子的我怎么可以没注意到这些呢
我突然间觉得好失败哦
不过这也是一件好事
跟加的给了我突破力
让我继续的生命里奋斗
我知道我这些年来都没有为了妈妈做过很多事
他却一直不断地为了孩子们的幸福和生活而遭想
我也还不懂我这一生能够为妈妈做多少
但我一直相信只要他开心我就快乐这道理
所以妈妈
我一定会为了你得到一个很好的成绩的
虽然说这一切都不是我最想要的
但我相信大家所作出来的选择一定都是为了我得最好
所以就算再难
只要是为了妈妈而奋斗
都是值得的
因为我也知道其实妈妈是知道我的么梦想的
虽然我没有被应许去追寻它
但我也没有被逼过去放弃它
所以我觉得这就是一家人的互相了解
互相信任
和互相背后默默的支持
到最后还是老话一句
我爱妈妈