Sometimes Old Tricks Work The Best

I caught with B last night. I have never thought of it actually as I have been channeling my focus on other areas, or perhaps someone else, lately. Never would have thought I could get to see him bit it was good although it did smudged my feelings and focus once again. After the incident, it just made me wonder and question a lot about A. While I was supposed to be having a good night by going out and enjoying myself and at the same time to see for myself what's out there, it got me thinking whether I wanted A was simply because I have let him in or was it simply because he was the nearest substitute I could get. If it was the latter, then it would not have been fair to anyone, especially himself. I really don't wanna do the wrong thing, but at the same time. I couldn't achieve the right thing because B's definition of the right thing and mine are totally different and also going towards different directions. 

While I was really trying my best to adapt to the transition from B to A, the truth is, sometimes old tricks still work better, because of the familiarity to it all. Now that it has messed with my feelings, I'm just not sure whether I love B more or just simply the fact that I have loved him longer. Well, whatever it is, I guess only time can tell.

He Loves Me

The other day, I was catching up with B after all this while. After quite some time too. After some period of crankiness as well. Well the session was still as hot and romantic as before. However, the thing is that when he was about to leave, he said that he loves me. I was in total shock or disbelief to say the least. But we've already agreed that our relationship would remain a very special friendship. I told him about A and how I think he might be a potential replacement to him. He seems to be OK with it and therefore I asked the ultimate question, whether he would want me to let A in. He said yes because he thought that A seems to be a nice guy and all. Well, even me myself has started to act towards that fact unconsciously. As in, I would dream about him and also that I would think about him every now and then as well.  

I could not deny the fact that I did have some difficulty trying to fall asleep last night thinking and playing over and over again the image when B says he loves me. This is the first time he initiates the 'salutation'. I felt  very amazed. And I guess it's reflected in my non-cohesive nor coherent entry into the blog.